You Know You're A Horse Person When...
- You are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub,
but don't mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes,
in your food...
- You know you're a horse AND dog person when you don't mind
throwing frozen manure balls for the barn's goldie to fetch!
- Someone says, "does anyone have a screwdriver?" and you hand
them a hoofpick.
- The real estate agent asks what kind of house you are looking for
and you say "More than six acres".
- You find yourself analyzing leg and foot conformation on your
friends, and thinking how corrective shoeing could improve
their way of going.
- You run your tongue over your back molars and idly wonder
if they need to be floated. (If a horses teeth do not wear
evenly, they will have to be floated (filed) to restore a
good grinding surface.)
- You can find your boots in the dark by the manure aroma.
- You drive up in the yard, get out of the car and inhale the
perfume of the manure pile.
- You don't notice the barn smells on your clothing and wonder why
"regular" folks are sniffing the air.
- Your first sign of spring is not seeing a robin, but seeing a fly.
- You go to the gas station and ask the attendant to check the "off
hind" (and you know you're in horse country when the young man
immediantly walks to the right rear tire!)
- Your car is the only one in the company parking lot that has an
inch of dust INSIDE and when you open the door, a swarm of flies
- Your mother has a run in the bottom of her hose and you tell her
she has a split hoof.
- You teach your little brother to skip by getting him to "canter",
then "switch leads" until he's doing one-tempi flying changes
- Your truck looks like a bomb exploded in a tack shop.
- When your husband walks into the bedroom and sees you wearing your
underwear and tall black boots and his only comment is
"Oh, did the new boots finally arrive?"
- Your father gets worried when he overhears you talking to a friend:
"And he had the cutest butt! I happended to be behind him for a
while, and practically couldn't take my eyes off his butt. And he
had really nice legs, and a real strong back, and nice shoulders,
and *such* a pretty face! He came over to say hello once. What a
handsome guy!" When you tell him that you were talking about a horse,
he's not sure whether to be reassured of get even more worried.
- Your motto is "baling twine will fix anything".
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